If you are a man seeking to deepen your relationship with God and reboot your life, welcome to Exodus 90. For 90 days, thousands of men worldwide take on rituals of prayer, fasting, exercise, cold showers and fraternity as they read through the Book of Exodus. It is a shock to the system and challenging, but offers many spiritual rewards. As I prepare for my third Exodus, I thought about the men who will be doing this for the first time and decided to try to offer some help and advice for how to survive your 90 day walk in the desert.
The first step to surviving is to go to www.exodus90.com and sign up. Once you have, download the app and read the field guide. It outlines just about everything you need to know about this spiritual exercise and what is asked of you. It lays out the rules for fasting and abstaining from technology, how to pray, and even gives an outline for how a fraternity meeting should be run. It is very useful, and if in doubt, consult the guide with your brothers and chaplain. For EVERYTHING ELSE, keep reading.
The core of Exodus 90 are the daily readings and reflections from the Book of Exodus. You will follow Moses and the Israelites as they journey closer to God whom they abandoned, but who never forgot them. Sit with each reading and reflection and reflect on your own life as you pray. This is an excellent time to also spend at least one holy hour of contemplative prayer which you will be called to each day. While Exodus encourages men to spend a complete hour in silent contemplation, it is okay if you cannot do this yet. Aim for 20 minutes to begin with. Gradually, extend the time you allow yourself to sit in silence and God’s presence and by the end of Exodus, you might just hit the full hour mark. If you are able, try to spend at least one hour each week in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament when you do this. The real secret to making this a habit and part of your regular routine though, is to do it consistently at the same time every day.
Of the ascetical practices called for in Exodus 90, none is quite as infamous as the cold showers. Too often we find ourselves looking for comfort rather than looking to sacrifice. By taking DAILY cold showers, we choose to sacrifice a fleeting personal comfort and start to build a habit of accepting sacrifice. Cold showers are also a shock to the body’s systems, which is exactly what Exodus 90 is, a shock to your system to spur you onto growth. You can offer your discomfort up for someone who is truly suffering or as a sacrifice for a priest or other person who might be struggling and needs prayers. But to be completely honest, the showers aren’t that difficult and to make them at the very least bearable, you can take a shower after your regular vigorous exercise.
I bet you thought Exodus 90 was merely a spiritual exercise, didn’t you? It is. But the spirit resides in the body and so we must keep our body healthy for our spirit’s sake, and the sake of our family. That’s right, we aren’t merely exercising for our own health, but so that we may continue to be healthy for those whom God has entrusted into our care. As a married man, your body is not your own; it belongs to your spouse. As a single man, you must still care for your body because you might still have family who will need your help later in life and for the good of your soul. This also helps build the discipline needed for the other practices that we will dive into. It’s easy to quit and not work out. But like anything in life, it takes dedication and commitment to show up and put in the work, even when you don’t want to. The way you do anything is how you do everything. At the very least find a cardio workout to keep your heart healthy and hop in the cold shower to cool off. And always follow any guidance you may have from your doctor.
During Exodus, you must abstain from social media, excessive computer use, tv/movies/televised sports, video games, and any music that doesn’t lift the soul to God. This is a technology fast. How much time do you spend scrolling through news articles that in no way affect your life? Why do you consume all of this data if it does nothing good for you, or even causes anxiety and depression? Unplug from the screens, turn out the noise, and be present. Be present with God, be present with your family, friends, and co-workers. If you have a reading list that you keep putting off, now is the time to pick up a book before bed. Are there projects your wife has been asking for around the house? Pick up a hammer and show her you love her. Does your daughter or son ask you to play with them? Get off the couch and show them they mean the world to you. If you need a computer for work, by all means use it, but be conscious of how much time you actually are spending working, and how much time you’re looking up useless articles or scrolling social media getting a dopamine hit. These are the reasons most men choose to do Exodus 90. They recognize they are slaves to their phones and devices and the media they consume. While not explicitly designed to help a man with his porn addiction, many men also break their habits of consuming pornography while on Exodus 90 because of the fasting and ascetic practices. Put down the phone and be present.
All that said though, don’t burden your family with these same restrictions against television and movies. If your wife asks you to watch a movie with her, love her and do so. Enjoy the time with her, but perhaps next time find other ways to have fun with her like a board game or dance, and suggest these to her. Exodus 90, while challenging is meant to help you love your family more. It does no good to plant seeds of disappointment and resentment by imposing your restrictions on your family.
One of the most challenging aspects of Exodus is the fasting and abstaining from snacks, sweets, sodas, and alcohol. Yes, you read that correctly, you will be asked to fast. Twice a week, on Wednesdays and Fridays you will participate in the old Church tradition of fasting and abstaining from meat. On these days, you are allowed two smaller meals, that combined do not equal one full meal, and one full meal. While this was a penitential act, meat is also a luxury in some parts of the world, and thus is a sacrifice for us to give up. In our uncomfortableness, we are reminded of the suffering Christ endured for us as He hung on the cross, beaten, broken, hungry, and thirsting for water. Use this as an opportunity to explore new vegetarian options with your family and have fun learning and improving your own cooking. If someone cooks for you though and forgets to make a vegetarian meal, accept what they have lovingly prepared for you. If for legitimate health reasons you cannot fast, follow your physician or nutritionists guidance for your health. Fasting does no good if you become injured from mal-nutrition.
Why does it matter that I can’t snack between meals? If you can’t say no to a small handful of peanuts, how will you say no to greater temptations. With the daily practices of saying no to smaller temptations, you will build the resilience and strength needed to deny greater temptations. Each small no builds a link in your spiritual armor as you deny yourself the small pleasure you want. This same is true for sweet drinks, alcohol and desserts. That said, black coffee is allowed, as are fruit juices, plain milk, hydration enhancing drinks/sport drinks, protein shakes, and of course, water. while not explicitly stated, perhaps to keep in the spirit of Exodus, opt for zero sugar sport drinks, fruit juices without added sugar, and refrain from adding sweetening agents to protein shakes if you normally do.
But what if there’s a birthday party, anniversary, or some other special event? What do we do about cake or other sweets offered? If you are attending a reception, abstain as you normally would. If someone asks why you are abstaining, or offers and you decline, you can take this as an opportunity to tell them about Exodus 90. Just try not to be boastful about it and remain humble and mention you are doing it with thousands of other men in fraternity. If it is a private birthday and someone offers you a dessert they baked, be gracious and accept it and thank them for their sacrifice.
While we’re on the subject of consumption and what we take into ourselves, have you listened to the lyrics of the latest trending music? Probably not. If it isn’t music that lifts the soul to God, it’s time to cut it from your playlist. While you can’t always control what’s on the radio, if you find your local EWTN radio channel, you won’t be disappointed. While music isn’t played much, you will be opening yourself to a world of Catholic knowledge you probably didn’t know existed. You can also find Christian music radio stations and as a fraternity, come together and share music. You may also find a playlist here that I have begun putting together with music that would be “approved.” The focus here though is to recognize the message that is being subliminally given to you through music and to pay attention to what our culture is trying to promote. Anything that is sinful and immoral should be cut out.
While on Exodus, it begins to seem like you are being asked to live a simpler life, and you are. Now think of the life of simplicity Jesus lived and compare it to your own. Did he buy the finest clothes? No, He gave extra coins He and the Disciples earned to the poor and bought them food. In His example, we are asked to abstain from non-essential purchases. Sure, that hat may look fly, but save the money and buy someone a meal or donate to your parish. In extending simple living to your family’s budget, you are also being more financially responsible for their sake and are being a better steward of your resources.
The world demands a lot of us as men. How can you keep up with the demands of family, your community, and work if you aren’t rested. Make sure you get at least seven hours worth. You’re going to need it, Exodus 90 can be surprisingly tiring some days. Ensuring you get to bed at a reasonable time and wake up at a reasonable time for your schedule helps build healthy habits that will help you through the rest of Exodus. And it’s hard to resist spiritual temptation when your own body is tired.
Every day you should check in with your anchor. Call or text and see how he is doing. He is depending on you and you should be able to rely and depend on him. No man can do Exodus 90 alone; you will need your fraternity and your anchor to keep you on the path. Pray for him daily and be honest and open if you are struggling. He might have some insight and you might have some for him if he opens up to you. Meet up for coffee if you’re able or invite him and his family over for dinner some time. Your anchor may end up becoming a close friend if he isn’t already.
And finally, don’t forget to end your day with God and a nightly Examen. St. Ignatius offers many insights to what makes a good Examen. Begin by giving thanks, ask for forgiveness in the times you failed and sinned, and ask for the grace to see where God was active in your day. Spend a few minutes reviewing your day. Where did you see God? Where did you need Him but failed to see Him? Did you hear His voice? What did you do? Then spend some time going over the day to come. What challenges await you? Come up with a game plan and hand it over to God and accept He will handling everything for you. Pray an Anima Christi, Hail Mary, or Suscipe, and go to sleep.
Everyone experiences Exodus differently. Take note of the suggestions in the Field Guide and fall back on your Fraternity whenever in doubt. This guide merely hoped to give some practical advice from my experience doing Exodus 90 twice and taps into the combined wisdom of my fraternity. Know I am praying for you on your journey, and I hope you will pray for me.
The Measure of a Man 